Gin
by r-mak
Summary: A messed up and angsty AU oneshot about what happens after Summer gets shot at a protest rally in her second year of college. RT/SS/ST


**GIN**

"Do you ever wish things had happened differently?" he asked her.

She studied him and the glass of gin in his hand.

"I think you've had too much to drink" she said and he snorted. She gave him a look and turned to leave.

"I do" he said to her retreating figure. He noticed the way it froze before she turned and looked at him with pity.

Pity – that was what he got from her now.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" she asked, glancing between him and the glass in his hand.

He shrugged in response.

"You're his brother. He loves you. Why can't you just be happy for him?" she asked

When Summer was shot dead at a protest rally Seth crumbled. What Ryan went through when he lost Marissa had been nothing compared to what Seth went through when he lost Summer. He loved Marissa but she was toxic – she wasn't good for him and deep down he knew they weren't meant to be. Seth and Summer were meant to be though. They were supposed to get married after college, have lots of kidlets, and spend the rest of their lives together – Summer wasn't supposed to die in her second year of college.

No one could deal with it. No one could cope.

Seth holed himself up on the East Coast and refused to talk to anyone.

Julie and Kaitlin mourned their strongest link to Marissa.

Neil moved to another country.

Sandy and Kirsten couldn't deal with Seth's unwillingness to let them in.

Taylor refused to acknowledge what she felt as a result of her own loss and tried to help everyone else sort through what they were feeling. She tried to help everyone put the pieces of their lives back together when her own life was a complete mess. She had lost her best friend and refused to deal with it.

He hadn't been able to deal with losing Summer when she died, or losing Seth when he cut everyone out of his life, or losing Taylor when she stopped being herself. He couldn't bring himself to break up with her because of everything she was going through and started to fuck random girls from college on the side. It turned out he didn't have to break up with her because she got the hint and up and left after finding him in his dorm room with another girl.

He regretted that night. He regretted everything that had happened between them after Summer died. She helped him get through Marissa's death and he turned his back on her when she lost her best friend. He was an ass.

He had no idea where she went and she ignored everyone's calls. No one knew what had happened. When Sandy talked to him because he knew something was up, he spilled everything. The man tried to hide his disappointment but failed.

"Why can't you be happy for _**us**_?" she asked.

It had been more than two years since he had last seen his brother, but she brought him home. They were done with college – he was an architect and Seth was a graphic designer – and Taylor was working on her masters in linguistics (she wanted to do her PhD and become a professor) while working as a translator. Seth was more mature and independent while Taylor was a more independent version of her old self. She was more beautiful than he remembered her being.

Sandy and Kirsten had been overjoyed when they came home from their walk with Sophie and found Seth sitting in the living room. It was thanksgiving and everyone had a lot to be thankful for. Sophie didn't recognize her biological brother but he promised her that he'd be around a lot more from now on.

When Sandy asked them where they had been they exchanged an uncertain look before Seth told them about how she tracked him down on the East Coast, barged into his life and helped him make it better. Taylor added that they helped make each other's lives better because she hadn't been dealing with things the way she should have. Neither of them went into specifics and no one really cared because they were just thankful to have them back.

The dinner was great because Taylor had helped Kirsten. He and Seth caught up. Everyone went to sleep and he couldn't get her out of his head. He realized that the reason why he hadn't been in any serious relationships since she left was because he still loved her. He went to the guestroom that Kirsten had set up for her and found it empty. He was going to go downstairs and check the kitchen but stopped at Seth's room when he heard muffled noises coming from behind the door. He knocked before opening to check if he was okay.

Eight months had passed and everyone was gathered at their rehearsal dinner. He had to stand by the alter and watch as the woman he loved walked down the aisle to marry his brother.

It was wrong. Everything about this was just so wrong.

"I wish Summer never died" he said.

"You need to stop" she whispered harshly and he laughed.

"This was what you always wanted isn't it? You used me. You used her. You had your sights set on him since senior year" he said coldly. "It doesn't matter how hard you try… he'll never love you like he loves her" he added. He didn't know why he was saying these things. He didn't know why he was being so cruel to her when he loved her and knew that none of it was true. Seth loved her – he saw it in the way his eyes lit up every time she entered the room.

She slapped him.

He looked at her and saw the tears that threatened to spill from her hazel eyes.

"He loves me more than you ever did. He'd never fuck sluts behind my back and he would never say anything so despicable to me" she said venomously.

He didn't know what was worse: the fact that he did those things, or the fact that she was right about how his brother would never do anything like that to her.

He could feel people staring at them and the stinging on his cheek told him that there was something for them to be looking at.

"Is everything okay?" Seth asked as he approached them.

"Everything's fine" she answered while continuing to stare at him with fire burning in her eyes.

"Why don't we go outside and get some fresh air?" Seth asked her while shooting him a look that told him he wanted him to stay away from her. He watched as his brother rubbed soothing circles on her back.

She looked down at her hands and he noticed that she was picking at her nails. She sniffed before looking up at Seth and nodding at him with a smile. They turned around and Seth wrapped his arm around her and placed a kiss into her hair as they walked through the crowd and towards the door.

Ryan brought his glass to his lips and took a sip as he watched them. Seth and Taylor had each other and all he had was his gin.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Author's Note**

I don't know what to say to you.

Why don't you let me know what you think?

- Roz


End file.
